I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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