Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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