Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize