If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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