Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize