Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
if only i could text you this smell
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I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
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RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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