Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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