You can't motorboat a personality
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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