every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think a kid would responsible me up
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
