just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize