Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
