but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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