hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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