atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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