How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
