last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
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We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
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Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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