a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
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