Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
