I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
how can u be prego again
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
