My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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