walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
home. puking in laundry basket.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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