You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
