Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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