WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
