i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
