ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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