when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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