i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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