He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
