so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
