he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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