I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
