he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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