When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize