I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
