You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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