friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize