Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
