capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
