i think my mom watched the whole time
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
