i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
