Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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