She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
