I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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