Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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