Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
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omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
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I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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