he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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