I can tuck mytits in my pants
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
