i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
