Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
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Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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