why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
