So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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