"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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