it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
