Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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