he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.